Faith’s Diary:

They definitely hate me in this house!

It’s always one thing and then the other. Your room is dirty, you are so untidy, you are not like me, you are too slow, your siblings are doing better in school; and they just wont stop, no matter how hard I try to do the right thing. You know what diary, I am done, and I don’t care anymore. Last time I told my mum that I was always picked on in the house, she slapped me, and I didn’t hear the last of it. Even my siblings think they are the saints in the house. I just totally hate my parents and my siblings right now. It’s my 13th birthday tomorrow, and I know my mum is planning a get-together, but it’s all fake love.

Parents,

Your child feels like the black sheep of the family. She feels victimized and inadequate; and this could fatally affect her mental, emotional or physical well being. This child may eventually fall into the wrong hands, or make wrong friendships. 

As a parent or care-giver, it’s important that you follow the “why-rule”. Your child should understand the reason why you have set rules in the family or why you say the things you do.  It is also important to teach the other siblings to love and encourage that child to do better, rather than to pick on him/her. 

You can encourage your child to do better by, letting the child know you believe he/she can do better; using affirmations to get the child comfortable with you, discuss the issue and allow the child suggest strategies to getting better; telling stories of people with similar character issues and the outcome; creating healthy competitive games amongst siblings; creating reward systems within the home; reasonable discipline for wrong doing; and pats on the back for doing the right thing, amongst others.

Ife Adeoba